Why Its Healthy To Ask For Help
February 2018 // By Natalie Jean
Here we are, Valentine's Day 2018. Mark and I had dinner plans and I was going to totally rock this dress with some heels and we were gonna have a blast, but unfortunately we had to cancel our plans. Why you ask? Because Mark got the flu and I got a viral sore throat and fever. NO FUN!
Mark went back to work today after a week off and I am starting to finally feel better, aside from a nasty cough. But let me tell you, the last couple of days were hard for me.
I had all kinds of plans this weekend, plans that I was not willing to give up because of a sore throat. Mark was in bed with the flu and I was trying my best to care for him as best I could, and we scheduled a doctor's visit on Friday just to be safe. Then after we left (the waiting room was filled with so many sick people) I started to feel worse.
I didn't have a fever, so I stuck with my plan to drive to New Jersey for my best friend's bridal shower on Saturday morning and then stay the night for a Galentine's Day party on Sunday. Everything went well and we all had a great time, but I was not feeling it.
By the time I got home on Sunday night I was ready to sleep for a month. Mark was out of bed, although not completely back to health yet and he offered me tea, soup, and a hug. I said no to all three and let my shoes and coat fall where they may. I was a tornado heading straight to the couch, crabby and a mess. After I took some Advil I realized that I did want tea and soup and a hug.
Snapping at Mark and saying no to his help was the wrong move. So, with my tail between my legs I went over to Mark and changed my answer and he was more than happy to help me. Such a wonderful guy :) Then the next morning Mark worked from home, still suffering from a cough and feeling sick but at the same time he was trying to take care of me. It was so hard for me to let him! I either expected to be waited on hand and foot or felt insanely guilty for him even bringing me a cup of tea because he was still not feeling the best. There was no middle ground and I was having the hardest time taking the help I was being given. Anyone else understand what I mean?
After butting heads with Mark a little, then struggling with my fever and cough, and then feeling like a dummy, I once again came crawling back to Mark with my tail in between my legs. I needed help. In that moment I realized two things. One: Its okay to ask for help! Two: It's okay to rest. In fact, its important that we rest, not only when we're sick but so we don't get sick in the first place!
Once I accepted help, I started feeling better because I didn't have to walk up and down the stairs 5 times a day to get water or food or tea. I got to rest and nap and my energy started to come back. Being sick makes you vulnerable and sometimes (even though its uncomfortable) its good for us. We need people to lean on in life and we need to be comfortable asking for help.
Valentine's Day is a day of love, and its a day when we show people in our lives that we care. Especially with the two of us being sick this past week, Mark and I are learning to show love to one another and in turn accept it in different ways. Being sick is no fun, and to be honest once I gave in and let Mark do what he could to help me, I felt a little better and I enjoyed being cared for. If you're struggling with something and someone in your life is offering to help or attempting to care for you, let them! There is no shame in accepting help or asking for help or showing vulnerability. It will help you heal and help you grow.
I'm bummed that we had to cancel our dinner plans and I don't get to wear my new dress out on the town, but thats okay because I get to spend time in my jammies at home with Mark, a movie, and some take out. Getting rest and accepting help these last couple of days have really helped me refocus and heal. They've helped me remember that there are people in my corner here to help. There are people in your corner too, so don't be afraid to ask for help. Let people love you this Valentine's Day!
Also, thank you guys so much for your well wishes and prayers for Mark and I. I think we'll both be feeling back to normal in the next day or two. Here's hoping!