Simple Marriage Advice: Stay Gold Autumn Guest Post
I took engagement photos for family friends at church almost a year ago. The couple told me how many different pieces of advice they had been given ranging from the classic "never go to bed angry" to advice completely disagreeing with that statement. They told me they were a little baffled at trying to sort through everything and I remember thinking very similarly when we became engaged and advice came rushing in.
I quickly told them that I was going to give them the best advice that I figured out through marriage: "just do what you two need to do. Pray about it, do it, and then be happy with it."
We've had a lot of experiences in our 5 years that we've been married and we've been provided various opinions the whole way through.
We've dealt with chronic pain, surgeries, long distance marriage, and a spouse that travels for sometimes months. We've moved cross country without living near any family, I've changed careers, and we've waded through financial pressure. We've laughed, we've cried, we've traveled, we've learned to say sorry and mean it, and we've become much closer.
Some opinions that we have been given felt more personal or seemed to matter more through these situations, but as we figured them out together we realized our decision was the best one. Opinions sometimes take the form as unwanted and unsolicited advice ranging from our weight to when we should have had children. There have been sleepless nights that I have felt my stomach churning with the rhythm of our ceiling fan in our bedroom because I cared way too much about what someone outside of my marriage thought.
However, there have also been times when we received advice that sincerely gave us a new option to think about and decide for ourselves; these times have very appreciated.
I'm afraid that I can't sum it up better than Fiddler on the Roof though:
Tevye: What words of wisdom can I give them? How can I help to ease their way?
Golda: Now they must learn from one another day by day.
Autumn blogs over at Stay Gold Autumn and teaches ESL in Georgia. She believes in Christ, underdogs, and in southern hospitality. She's a lover of cardigans, beautiful trees, and most things vintage.
* Photos by Jessica Drew photography