a few thoughts on a dreary monday.

today is an interesting day. i've been feeling tired and sort of melancholy, but that's not really a new thing. i've felt this way before. i have so many ideas and goals and things i want to accomplish but there aren't enough hours in the day or dollars in my pocket. anyone else ever have days or weeks like this? they just leave you feeling "blah." that sort of describes autumn though doesn't it? dreary, ambitious, winter on the way.

this post might be giving off a poor vibe, and i just want to say that i'll be writing from my heart today. it might not be worth reading; it might be on the list of things not to write on your blog about; maybe it breaks all the rules but if you can't share your heart on your blog, where can you share it?

i've been feeling really unoriginal lately. i have all these ideas and things that i want to do with my art, my calligraphy, re-opening my etsy shop, and furthering oakmoss collective and it's influence, but i just feel like no one has the time or interest for what i can offer. it's the worst feeling, especially because i know that most of it isn't true. people care, people read my blog, people support me but on days like today i get overwhelmed and feel at a loss.

i get in these ruts and i try to create and i write and i plan but then when i share those ideas and dreams i get "oh, that's nice." and then i just feel like an idiot trying my hand at something that i have no place in being. does anyone else ever feel that way? i think it is so important to make sure that you have a community that will encourage you to prevent feeling like this too often.

i recently read this blog post and it is exactly how i've been feeling about community lately. my heart breaks over those who reach out for comfort, friendship, or growth/teaching and all they receive is judgement, a cold shoulder, or thin and fake friendship. there are a few communities that i am a part of online and they're fantastic. i've also joined and quickly left some online communities because all i got from them was members bragging about their creative conquests, being ignored when asked for blogging help, and very thin (if any) relational connections. it was sad and made me even more thankful for the online friends i've made through things like the peony project, blog buddies, and the rising tide society. something that all of these communities have in common is that they don't try to oversell themselves. they are genuine and care about the members and what they have to offer.

i am joining this post to grateful heart monday submissions because even on the days where we feel unoriginal or defeated or overwhelmed, it's important to count your blessings, and today i am thankful for the online communities that my blog is a part of and i am thankful for the days that aren't so great because they push me to be better, get more creative, and try again on the better days.